Bud couldn't wait for a trip report, so he made one up. All typos are his... -Paul

Alright! guess I'll have to fill in the blanks since you boyz won't let us in on the trip.

Heres the way I see it happening in my jeepers crystal D-44::::::::::

Ok the boyz were supposed to meet at the corner of 5th and vine at 6:01 sharp cuzz Stevie don't like waiting. Paul was having a hard time getting out of the bathe house early enough to get there and got scathed by SF for being late. This of course has SF in a tizzy cuzz it's mandatory that all contestants be on time.

So finally! We're off to the races. Yep all lined up like a row of ducklings on thier way to the park pond for a liesure dip. Tempers are a flairing though cuzz not all have air and HWY 99 is hotter than a pistol at a show down in OK corral. The leader (SF no doubt) has a small problem. Hmmmm! Whats all that goo spreying out all over us superfied clean jean jeepers. Yikes! Its sweet and hot as hell too! Green? Yep! SF blows the water pump right smack dab in the moddle of nowhere USA. So being the dutiful jeepers we know they all are they start to ge the whatever it was that blew out of there. It's from Tiwan and there ain't a replacemen to be found anywhere in the next 200 miles. Man this sucks hot tatters I'll tell you. Course everybody is acting like hey! No biggie we'll get it fixed in a jify! Well, after 11 hours of waiting in the 110 degree heat acting like we want to be there in the first place we finally get the dammed thing installed. This is defifnitely putting us a day behind. Anothe misshap like this and we will be going up with the Dehesa goon platoon. And they ain't S'pose ta be here for a week. Yikes! They better not catch us on the trail. OOOOOHboy! That would be horendous! And us not waiting for them. Geeez!

So we haul ass up the road and decide to sleep in the K-Mart lot for the night cuzz we can't find the trail in the dark. SF can't take it anymore and makes the covey move on up the grade to the last gas stop. The Ranger station is closed so we're going in with no fire permits or commie passed required. Hope this don't end up on the front page of IN Gear! Man! The emberassment it would cause!! Well we get to the station and Pauls 4 banger has 9/10th gas left. SF and all the big blocked super duper powered blast through anything V-8s are out of gas and so's the station. Oh brother this sucks!! OK! We can make it anyway, lets go!!

We decide since it's only two hours before day lite to slip in a couple winks at Courtwrite res. That is iffin we could could sleep! The fish are jumping and hitting the water so loud it's keeping everybody awake. Dambit! Bud said we should have brought our poles. Ha! Who needs a licence, we ain't even got a camping or fire permit. So we decide to try some stink bait and at least go for a few catfish. Hmmmm! All the ice has melted from sitting on 99 waiting for repairs. What to do! Whaat to do! Ok! Paul, tear off a piece of your shorts, after all its stink bait and catfish for crimany sakes. Wheres the hooks? Next thing we know SF is tromping towards the water with his high lift handle in hand. Frickin catfish anyway! I'm hungry goddammit!!! Well after watching SF almost drown from being in to deep of water with yep! You guessed it the entire high lift cuzz he forgot to disassemble the handle. (man! What a lack of sleep will do to ya huh) He dammed near sercumbed the depths I tell ya!!

So finally we get up the trail. Everyone is wondering why they are having trouble on Chicken rock! Oh geez! It's covered in Bear guano! Yikes! Who brought the gun?? No problem! We got boggers!! Good thing it's a straight run cuzz we got traction but can't steer. It takes Paul 45 minutes with his new and iproved 4.1 super duty 7- to one crawl ration. David Oh as usual glides right on up along with Dave S and Bob Bills is still at the bottom cuzz he has puny tires. he says he's gonne take the whole bunch to court iffin they don't strap him up and keep it quiet. The do of course, I mean he's the list mom ain't he??

Well anyway we have to camp out on the trail cuzz one of the posers we deemed neceserry to bring along out ran us all and we can't find him. Shit! Everyone knows it's takes at least two days to run this trail, what wrong with that guy. And he ain't even locked up!!!!!

OK the hell with him if he can't follow orders. Hope he gets molested by a brown bear and forgets to drop his drawers. heh heh! We'll know if his face is all bunched up when we see him next.

So, who brought the grub? Huh? No grub!!! God dern it wish we'd a brought them poles. Ain't no stinking cat fish in these lakes!! The day was saved however cuzz nobody remembered to bring the sun shower. When we all jumped in the lake it killed nei on fifty fish and we started up the fire. Well, we would but, did anybody bring matches?? Does anybody smoke?? Ah! Sushi then. Man this fish stinks!!! wonder why??

So on day two which is supposed to be day three we head out again. Making Ershem lake will be no problemo. Yikes! What this hill called. Hmmmmm!!! Looks nasty. Musta had a bad winter. Well, about dark we finally all get to the top of what we discovered later was Thomson hill. Daveid and Dave were really pissed having to wait for the rest of us at the top too! We won't go into that though.

OK We make it all the way to tha last hurra! Manana we get the frick outta here. All we gotta do is get down Keiser pass. No problem! Just a few off camber drop offs and were home free.

Then Bob Bills sees the end of the trail. Yikes! You want me to go down this with these puny tires? No way man! I'm going back!! hahahahaha! What a sissy huh?

Well anyway we made it out and only had to drop a couple guys off at the hospital cuzz of, well we had a couple minor trail fixes but you guys wouldn't be interested in that would ya?? I mean we had a dammed good time, didn't we?? I know! Your asking if we had any misshap's on the way home, well thats another story altogether so you shoulda been there yourself iffin ya wanted to know. Oh yeah! SF ran out of gas even though he had plenty cuzz he wouldn't heed Bud's warning about how the tanks sit in the gas tank cover. and oh yeah! He did have his welder in oporation for a few hours too! That another can of worms though.

Well anyway we had a great time and wish all you guys coulda shown up. Course then we would still be there cuzz we don't like to many ppl on the trails at once. Hey! It could cause a slow down ya know!!

C-ya next year!! When are all the rest of you'se guys going. We're going a week before or after you do so we need the dates man!!!

Ralph Abernathey